CRASH!!! Tiny shards of glass showered down over Josiah and me. I slammed on my brakes and instinctively threw my head out the window. We screeched to a halt as the hood of my car finished shattering my windshield before crashing back down to its original location. I sat in the car for a few seconds stunned and clarifying in my mind that the hood of my car had actually just ruined my perfect beach day. I stepped out of the car and assessed the damage. The windshield was shattered. The hood was no longer usable unless you wanted it for a tea cup. I stood there and laughed. I laughed not so much out of joy, frustration or anger but because it simply capped the most ridiculous month ever. The month had already held a new roommate from Nicaragua, dealing with a stolen iPod, finding a new place to rent, preparing to move, moving, housing contract issues, living in limbo for a week, house hunting once again, moving back to the old apartment, having some money stolen, and hiring a new employee at the site. All I wanted was one day of rest and peace before short term outreaches started coming to work. Instead, I spent most of the day sitting at the mechanic watching them take off my windshield and thinking about all the money this was going to cost me.
"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28
I memorized this verse as a counselor at Bible Memory Camp about 5 years ago and for whatever reason, the verse has always stuck with me. Maybe I remember it so vividly since it has a feel good message and it makes life seem like it will only hold pleasing things. However, reflecting more deeply on the events of the past month, I start to really wonder what Paul meant when he wrote that God works for the GOOD of those who love him. It surely didn't seem like God was working for my good throughout the last month. It was hard. I was tired. Nothing in my life seemed stable or established.
However, throughout all the chaos of the last month, one thing is certain, I ran to the Lord more often than normal. Sometimes I went and begged for help. Sometimes I went overwhelmed and feeling abandoned. Sometimes I went frustrated and ready to fight. And sometimes I simply went to just be.
While some of the issues and problems have been resolved from the last month, I still feel tired and uneasy. Running to the Lord time and time again didn't fix everything. I'm still unclear of what life will hold for me tomorrow, or the next month, or even the next year. I know there will be much better months and I'm sure some months will be much worse. However, one thing that God has continued to teach me is that his promises are true despite my perceptions. God is working for my good. Good and pleasing moments in this life will come and God desires that I would have them but my good isn't just wrapped up in fleeting moments such as those. The good moments are when we run to him! For there is only one thing that is truly good and it is Christ, the Lord, the King of Kings!
However, throughout all the chaos of the last month, one thing is certain, I ran to the Lord more often than normal. Sometimes I went and begged for help. Sometimes I went overwhelmed and feeling abandoned. Sometimes I went frustrated and ready to fight. And sometimes I simply went to just be.
While some of the issues and problems have been resolved from the last month, I still feel tired and uneasy. Running to the Lord time and time again didn't fix everything. I'm still unclear of what life will hold for me tomorrow, or the next month, or even the next year. I know there will be much better months and I'm sure some months will be much worse. However, one thing that God has continued to teach me is that his promises are true despite my perceptions. God is working for my good. Good and pleasing moments in this life will come and God desires that I would have them but my good isn't just wrapped up in fleeting moments such as those. The good moments are when we run to him! For there is only one thing that is truly good and it is Christ, the Lord, the King of Kings!